The Bender Royale

When the staff here at the Fat Pride Times went home on Friday, we were not aware that one of our people had plans to stay behind. The FPT Test Kitchens are located 500 feet below the Earth's crust and are locked and sealed tight when we are away. This meant that our (former) staff member was down in the kitchens all weekend gorging on our stock of foodstuffs. Two of us showed up this morning to open up and we heard some strange grunts and like wrapper crumplin noise - then we saw 'Dave' running away and up the metal rungs out into the morning air. He left behind a disturbing note on which we are going to have to terminate his empoyment here (with due cause). Plus, as the photo shows. Ol' Chunky left behind a mad pile of rubbish from his bender. We all here wish him well and hope he gets the meds he needs asap.

Frozen Corned BeefIs This Too Old?Seeking Reader InputCan We Eat It?

A friend of the FPT recently left town and brought over the frozen foodstuffs that were in his family's freezer. While most were recent purchases and have allready been consumed, there is the above piece of corned beef. Frozen on/before May 17, 2004: this meat is now over 2 years and 5 months old. The staff here loves corned beef but we are not sure if this is still safe to consume and we are calling on your expertise as FPT readers to comment to us your opinions.

The Fat Pride TimesSpam Folder Bender

After sorting thru the 100's of emails we receive at the FPT on a daily basis, sometimes we have a look into our junk mail bin. Look at this bender they want us to go on. First, I get the Homlel of my dreams, then visit Taco Bell & McDonald's with vouchers, Pick up my Coach brand bags and hop on for an airline flight. Upon arrival, I immediately will be getting some leg and using Trojan latex condoms for protection, followed by more Taco Bell then finally a nice shave by Gillette Fusion. Right after, I join a dating service and will be coming into more Trojans! The bender ends with 3 trips to Taco Bell and the capper at McDonald's.

Researchers Declare:Obesity Is TheWorldwide Pandemic

Research out of Australia is reporting that there are currently over 1 billion obese adults on the planet. "This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world, It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu" said Paul Zimmet. The week-long International Congress on Obesity recently took place with Zimmet as the acting chairman of 2500 international health experts.

The Fat Pride Times is taking the position that this is a problem - however people need to stop blaming food. The problem is people never get off their cans and move around whatsoever. Food is getting a bad rap on this.

Test Kitchen Report:Steakhouse ChoiceFrozen Burger Box

A staff member noticed these 'gourmet' pub-style frozen jalapeno and cheddar burger patty boxes on sale the other evening. Price was 7.99 for 6 burgers - we found that to be a nice price. Going into the FatPride Times Test Kitchen, the group consensus was that these were probably gonna be so-so. However, when you add the proper toppings and spices they make one nice item. Our method - as shown above - was to spice it with red chili pepper flakes, let it cook around a large portion of red onion pieces and then melted cheddar upon the top. Turned out to be one of our more recent favorites - however keep in mind that a real meal will require two of these patties per person.

Reader Recommends:Chocolate Panned Peanuts

One of our readers sent us this picture taken of a bag of snacks he had taken quite a liking too. We will let the photo do the talking. What is interesting is that this store is actually quite normal and this product doesnt seem to fit in with the other offerings. Sperryville Emporium

Free Got Milk T-Shirt?Well Not Really

While looking over a sample box of Cran-Vanilla Crunch cereal - which is very very good by the way - a member of the FPT team noticed an offer for a free t-shirt on the front featuring the infamous "Got Milk" advertising campaign. It did say details on back, however we had a group consensus that 'the details' were simply too demanding and we look at this as a form of leading (perhaps false) information. The back of the box shows you do get a free t-shirt AFTER you buy 2 boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk. One can assume that there is most likely a bunch of receipts needed and time-demanding paperwork.

We here at the Fat Pride Times will continue to report to you foodstuff companies that have what we feel is deceptive advertising.

We are also asking our readers to send in any thing similar to this offer so we can share it with other FPT readers.

Meal of The Week:Curry Chicken Over Rice

This picture is a chance to see what we do all day long at the Fat Pride Test Kitchen, which is located 700 feet below ground. This meal was sliced chicken breast meat with potatoes, green beans and curry spices. Note that we served it up on paper plates, a behavior that some think is brilliant and others ignorant. This post is now open for debate via your comments on paper plates - yay or nay.

Foodstuff Controversy:National ToastedMarshmallow DayWhat day is it?

One of our readers send an email mentioning this 'upcoming' holiday for us to cover and we realized that there are issues regarding this day. Yes, everyone agrees its all about the marshmallows, however the official date is up for argument. It is being reported as falling as early as August 14th, as late as August 31st and all the days in between. This is a disturbing situation that must be settled ASAP. The Fat Pride Times encourages you to call or write to your local elected official and encourage that we set a national date for this great day.

Dave's Killer Bread:Ex-Con Bakes A Mean Loaf

While we found it difficult to sample bread without anything on it, we knew this had to be done to judge the merits of this unique offering. Dave's Killer Bread definately has an interesting backstory and we encourage you to visit his website and read the full version. Being that the staff here considers bread a 'vehicle' for other foodstuffs, we had a bias present going into the tasting. However, this bread is quality stuff and we are proud to endorse it.

Dave's Killer Bread Dot Com

Burger King Stackers:Test Results Are In

Today at the FP Times test kitchens we brought in two of the double-meat, bacon and cheese stackers for research. As you can see in the coupon in the post below, Burger King presents them as being pretty gd massive. However, we were all suprised to find that the patties and buns are actually smaller when compared to a Whopper. The results were that while it was a quality sandwich, it did not live up to the price - which I forgot since we had that buy one get one free coupon. Our end opinion is that they are worth it if you have a coupon only, otherwise the price is not right.

Burger King Stackers:From One Patty to FourWith Bacon & Cheese

Holy Moses! Burger King has rocketed to first place in the hearty portion burger contest. Take a look at that "Quad Stacker" - 4 beef patties, 4 slices of cheese and 4 slices of bacon. That is double the quantity of the standard "Stacker" burger. Our plan is to have one of the staff use the 2 for 1 coupon for 2 of the Quads. We will then monitor him as he quaffs both down and document the quality of satisfaction and how long he powernaps afterwards.

Reader Submits:Whole Chicken StuffedWith Pasta & Butter

An anonymous reader has submitted the above photo of a nice looking whole bird - stufed with pasta and herb butter. GD. Now that is the real deal. Nice Work. We here at the Fat Pride Times hopes this will encourage others to send in their pics as well.

Frozen Food Bender:Totino's, Boston MarketAnd More

Sorry for the lag in postings but the staff here went on a frozen food bender over the past three days. You can view some of our samplings above. The Totino's were on sale for 1.00 each. The Boston Market meatloaf, which rocks, was on sale for 2.50. Please note that it is the 'hearty serving' one.

BREAKING NEWS:White Chocolate Twix Bars

One of our staff ran into these last night and immediately drove it over to our test kitchen. While we intended to take full pictures of the bars - we got caught up in the moment and ate 80% of the 2 we had before remembering about taking jpgs. These are truly good - hard to find - but worth the effort.

CUISINE SOLUTIONS:FROZEN LAMB SHANKS

While we at the FP Times try to stay off frozen foods for the most part, we recently sampled Cuisine Solutions brand frozen lamb shanks. They come individually sealed with a tasty sauce and are even microwaveable. Served over rice, these shankers are truly excellent. The photos above show the before and after - all done in the microwave. Apparently, this company also produces salmon and other items in the same fashion and we will be testing those soon and reporting back to you. We can however fully endorse this foodstuff.

Test Meal Pictures FromVegasFoodGuide.Com

Our good friends over at VegasFoodGuide.Com sent along the above snapshots of some recent test meals they were researching for their guide to Las Vegas foodstuffs. However, the pictures have no names or labels and we are calling on you to help us identify them by posting your comments with the link below.

New Zealand Reader Report:Sheepshaggers Gold

The FP Times New Zealand consultant has contacted us to report upon a local lager. This beer is available at New World grocery stores out of New Zealand. Our man finds that while name "Sheepshaggers Gold" is noteworthy, the actual brew is of a lower grade taste wise. However, if you get a chance to buy a bottle, we recommend you should simply as a collectible - based on the name and label.

FP Times World Test Kitchen Headquarters: Dish Of The Week

Above you see pictured one of our many meals prepared at the FP Times World Test Kitchen Headquarters - which is actually located 2000 feet below the earth. Here we took chicken tenders from Albertson's and sliced them up over a nice bed of lettuce and topped with ranch dressing. The bread on the side is called "Texas Toast" and is a cheesy oven baked bread. Everyone here on the staff tried a sample and think we have stumbled upon an easy, affordable home-made meal that you can have pride in making and eating. Challenge: meet it or beat it - what you got? Send me your JPG's or post your comments below.

Respect:The World's Biggest Restaurant

The Mang Gorn Luang (Royal Dragon) restaurant in Bangkok, Thailand has seating for 5000 patrons. They have over 500 waiters who serve the food while wearing roller skates and they can top out at around 3,000 meals an hour.

Dish Of The Week:Jamaican Jerk(ed) Chicken

Pictured above is our featured chicken dish of the week: Jamaican Jerk(ed) Chicken. This wonderfully jerk spiced chicken is best prepared in a pot and will come out with some sauce surrounding your pueces of chicken meat. Generally it is served spicy hot with jalapeno or habanero peppers in the sauce. "Allspice" the Jamaican pepper is the standard spice used for flavor then there are variations of other spices added as well. We have also heard rumors that there is now a pre-made spicing kit to make this dish now available. We have assigned one member of The Fat Pride Times staff to investigate this specifically and should have more info soon. Please no comments that the picture looks nasty - it is certainly not.

The "Lost On Chicken Run" MPG Series

The series of FP chicken run videos are finally organized and available for your viewing. Any comments, suggestions, props or complaints would be appreciated from our viewers as we plan to expand our video offerings here at The Fat Pride Times.
FP Drives For Chicken Video Series: Click For Menu

The New Cheetos Can:Why Is It Not Full When Opened?

A staff member here purchased the new Cheetos in the can - similar to a Pringles can. However, as the images above document it was only filled to maybe 2/3 of the cannister. We all have seen the "product may settle during shipping" line on many packaged foodstuffs, but we here are taking exception to these new Cheetos Cans due to this.

The Official Ramen Homepage

For those of us who appreciate the "Ramen" noodles, a reader sent us the ultimate link on this noodle. Not much else to say here - it is a must visit webpage and endorsed by The Fat Pride Times.

The Official Ramen Homepage

Let's Keep ThemHoles Clean People

Once again, The FatPride Times is here to remind you that if you are a true lover of the foodstuffs - you must respect your foodholes. Pretty basic stuff here. Use the tools shown above, at the very least, and let's keep it clean and real people.

Breaking News: Cheetos Recipe Stolen According to The Cheesy Tribune

Upon our latest purchase of Cheetos cheese flavored snacks we noticed upon the front an image of Chester holding up the front page of the Cheesy Tribune. Headline: Cheetos Recipe Stolen. Apparently, we as individuals can help solve teh crime by buying bags and doing puzzles on back and then going to the website. We are just assembling this info and updated post will follow shortly with more info.

Fresh Fish - You Gotta Love It

One of our readers sent me this photo of his good friend's catch of the day on a recent fishing trip. The Fat Pride Times endorses fresh fish and appreciates this contribution, as we hope it will inspire us all to mack on more fish.

"Fat Man Walking" Influenced Hiatus Is Over

After reading about the "Fat Man Walking" across the United States, the staff here decided we needed some time away to reflect on things. We did some bulk eating and deep thinking. The conclusion reached is that food is good. Hiatus is now over and the posting will now resume. Thanks for your continued support.