Mongo's Mongologues #22: AM Food & Fun At The Rustic Inn, Los Angeles

The FPT is proud to present another installment from our friend I am Mongo:

Dear FPT readers,
I know that it has been some time since I have graced the wonderful pages of the FPT. But, college football season will be upon us presently. Therefore, I thought I should get on it and share with our friends at the FPT how to properly enjoy a Saturday in Los Angeles during college football season.

For those who only casually watch college football, please allow IaM to give you a primer:

The USA Today/Coaches poll was realeased yesterday. Alabama is ranked number one. Ohio State is ranked number two. Oklahoma is ranked number eight. USC and Michigan are not ranked.

In any event, we are not here today to discuss football; we discuss delectible foodstuffs here. In this regard, we refer to the first photograph.

In east Hollywood, everybody goes to The Rustic Inn to watch college football. As our discerning readers will note, The Rustic has breakfast specials for those of us who like to watch a Big-10 game out here in the morning. As the second and third pictures show, The Rustic Inn has both excellent breakfast and lunch specials.

The Rustic Inn will cater to any palate. As an example, IaM was extremely hurting the other day, and I felt the need to slam Eggs Benedict and a Bloody Mary. No problem. One can order essentially any type of breakfast imaginable, with a Bloody Mary, for $7.50. Now, my dear FPT readers, that is a deal. The cocktail alone would cost $5.00. In point of fact, refer to the fourth photograph.

One will see another american classic; namely, ham and eggs. A guy I happened to be babbling with on my right was gracious enough to allow this writer to take a photograph of his breakfast. Although this writer believes that ketchup is a white-trash condiment, my damage-controlling companion used such condiment sparingly. One will also note the Home Fries. They are indeed delectible. The Rustic makes them with green peppers and onions(in addition to my damage-controlling companion's breakfast, note the Bloody Mary).

Breakfast from The Rustic and about three of those Bloody Mary's will take the edge off almost any sin a boy could commit. In the fifth picture we see the damage-controlling libation for IaM.

It went down well, believe me. Moving on to the sixth picture, we see breakfast for IaM.

My apologies for slamming it before I took the picture. However, I was hurting badly and needed to consume foodstuffs. As an aside, as previously discussed, those are Eggs Benedict. In the next photograph, we see another American classic properly prepared by The Rustic Inn; sausage and eggs.

Another patron was gracious enough to allow me to take a photograph of his breakfast. This writer has not actually partaken in the powering of sausage and eggs at The Rustic. But, wouldn't you admit that a glance at that breafast makes you salivate in the same way you did when you had a sweet hooker when you were sixteen years of age?

Moving along to the next photograph, we see the purveyor of these damage-controlling foodstuffs, Lexi. Many think that her boobs are fake. Not IaM. IaM had the pleasure of feeling them in the pantry once. Believe me, they are real. The tattoo on her butt is real, too (photograph will follow after my party a week from Friday).

EDITOR'S NOTE: The opinions/observations of our columnists are their own - we neither endorse or disbelieve - we just print.

In the last photograph, we see an American Institution; IaM and NN, doing what we do best.

Lexi was kind enough to take the photograph for this writer. If an intelligent reader will note, we both appear to be in good spirits. This is due to spirits and breakfast at The Rustic. As an aside, should a reader not know me as well as other readers, IaM is on the left, and NN is on the right. Well, I hope you enjoyed my exposition of preparation for college football season as much as I did slamming it.

Take care and eat your GD fruits and vegetables. IaM