New Reader From China!We May Have Passed Their Filters.

The staff was studying our site traffic today and there it was, a webpage hit from China! I suppose this means we have passed their filters and can share our love of foodstuffs with the Chinese people, or it was their government looking at our site and adding it to the 'no view' filter. We will wait and see.

First-Person Eater VideoThe McMuffin

We got a sack of Mcmuffins from McDonald's this morning for the office crew and then decided to attempt a video in 'first person' style, like a 'first person shooter' video game. This video is supposed to look and feel like it is you macking on the sandwich. The staff here is divided on how it looks but we are gonna stream it and ask for your input. Simply click the link below to stream the video.

McMuffin First Person Eater
App. 30 seconds long - .mpg stream

Lost On Chicken Run & Onstar IssuesFree On-Demand Video

The FatPride Times is proud to debut our new "On-Demand Video" feature. Keeping with the Fat Pride philosophy, we would never think of charging any fees or ask for personal subscription information for this new offering. This video is of a member of our staff trying to locate a chicken joint we had never tried before. Simply click the link below to stream the video.

Lost On Chicken Run & Onstar Issues
App. 30 seconds long - .mpg stream

The First Annual Pacific Northwest Symposium on Cheese at Lewis & Clark College in Oregon

There is a cheese club at Lewis & Clark College and yesterday they held their biggest gathering, the "Pacific Northwest Symposium on Cheese". Founded by sophomore student Brandon Wiebe, the club has held previous smaller cheese fests with over 100 people attending (free cheese). The Symposium was free and open to the public. This event offered more than just free tastes of international cheeses - they held "Cheese 101" which was a history/information lesson on the subject, this was folowed by "Cheese & The Liberal Arts" - a panel discussion of cheesemakers viewing the foodstuff from many intellectual perspectives. This was a truly tasteful event, and congatulations to Mr. Wiebe and his club officers on their success!

Albertson's Service Deli Chicken Tenders

The staff here had some chicken tenders from Albertsons Market for lunch yesterday and thought we would share the above photos with all of you. Nice product at a nice price (that bag has two more inside of it). The ones above are the spicy version, they also have a crispy one that is covered in crunchy batter. A dipping sauce is recommended for full enjoyment. The Bird, once again, is the word. Upon doing some product research for our new file on this foodstuff we found that Albertsons uses "irradiated meat". This can be both good and bad it seems - follow up post on this issue after more research.

The Computer Now Tracks Children's Diet For Parents.....Who Is Next?

The FP Times has just been forwarded a shocking email that reveals software has been written that 'tracks' a child's foodstuffs received in school cafeterias. Primero Food Service Solutions, developed by Houston-based Cybersoft Technologies, sets up prepaid accounts and monitors what is chosen and if it is allowed. Big Brother is now tapping into what you put into your pie-hole. From AP: " A student slides a tray toward the cafeteria cash register with a healthy selection: a pint of milk, green beans, whipped sweet potatoes and chicken nuggets — baked, not fried. But then he adds a fudge brownie - When he punches in his code for the prepaid account his parents set up, a warning sounds: 'This student has a food restriction.' - Back goes the brownie as the cashier reminds him that his parents have declared all desserts off-limits". Most of you reading this can now look back fondly when we were children and chose chocolate milk and doritos for lunch.

Special Reader Submission: Sunday Special Farm Sandwich

Longtime reader DimebagRIP has contributed one of the most comprehensive recipes/manuls for preparing a meal. The work is very impressive. As he says: "I call it the farm sandwich cuz it has all the goodness of the farm: Cow, Chicken, and Pig. You will need 1 pound of bacon, cheese (whatever kind you prefer), Eggs & Bread. Please view the many photos below to see how it is constructed properly. Here is the recipe: first cook the bacon, the cook your eggs. The wife doesnt like the yellow runny but i do. If you want scrambeled that works too - to make the yellows not runny i flip them over. When the eggs are done, put your bacon on, the put the cheese on top. Then start toasting your bread, when the cheese is melted, take it all and put it on the bread. There ya go thats it!! I like to have chocolate milk too...it really hits the spot!!

Biggest Post Ever Is Next - Giving Fair Warning

People, this post will not contain any images as the next post you see will have app.20 plus. The post and pictures have been submitted by a loyal reader, please be prepared for the show.

The Amazing Ju-Ju Fish (poor man's swedish fish)

A member of our staff was on a foodstuffs mission at Albertson's and discovered these unique jelly-type candies. They are quite tasty and not bad for a knock-off of the original, the classic "Swedish Fish". So often we hear how important it is to include fish in your diet and this is a great way to accomplish just that.

A Letter From The Editor

The Fat Pride Times support staff and myself would like to thank all for your loyal support. I would like to apologize for not posting any material in the past 15 days. The past fifteen days I have spent on an outrageous food bender. Being in a different location that usual, I found myself close to some great restaurants that had food to go. Generally I would order two meals and always ask for two forks so the employees dont know that I will be consuming everything myself. So basically I have been eating four meals a day and then making a trip to 7-11 for ice cream and other snack items. I would have taken a photo of my 'arena', however some things are best not shared.

I am recovering from this 15 day bender quickly and many more interesting posts from me, our staff, and our readers to follow again shortly.

Homer Simpson Brings It Forth

Homer Simpson knows how to eat. The staff here recalls the following off the top of our heads: gummy venus de milo, bbq pig, a week old sandwich, the forbidden donut, petroleum jelly, huge sugar ball. Our most fond memory of him is when he goes to The Flying Dutchman for the all you can eat seafood buffet. You probably know what happens (He becomes "Bottomless Pete: Nature's Cruelest Mistake"). Please post any other foods you can recall Homer chomping down with the comments link below.

Chinese Fortune Cookie Art

One of our staff members here at the FP Times recently discovered a fortune cookie that he had put up on a shelf above his desk. It was put there around one month ago and from the picture below you can see that it has 'unfolded' open to display the paper message. We have placed this treasure in a sealed tupperware box for storage while we ponder it's message and mode of delivery.

FAT PRIDE TIMES PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:Please keep your foodholes clean people

In conjuction with some health deal we are running a public service announcement here on The Fat Pride Times.

Food basically involves two holes in your body. It is of the upmost importance for an individual to jeep these holes clean. For your mouth - basic hygeine is a minimum. Please use a dental rinse and floss regularly. As for your buttocks, please people keep this arena clean. Use enough toilet paper and as some readers have told us before they shower after every bowel movement to keep it really real.

Please continue to enjoy the world of food, but let us work harder in keeping hygiene a top priority.

We Have A Winner For The Arby's Coupons!

The reader 'PhunkyPherret' came the closest with this answer: This is a sculpture of a milkman and his truck, made out of solidified milk and cottage cheese. Maybe some mozzarella. It could be asiago, but I'm pretty sure the secondary cheese is mozzarella. It was commissioned by Creamland Dairies for the 2004 "Milk Does A Body Good" campaign. It expires next month.

The actual correct answer is: Keeping with the nostalgic theme of this year's event, Jim Victor of Conshohocken turned 1,000 pounds of butter into a sculpture depicting an old-fashioned milk delivery wagon and two men unloading a modern milk-vending machine. Butter sculptures, an artistic way of highlighting the state's national role in butter production, usually are made from 800 pounds of butter donated by the Land O'Lakes plant in South Middletown Twp. This year's sculpture, displayed in a glass-encased cooler in the Maclay Street entrance to the complex, required more butter because of its size, Victor said.

PhunkyPherret please contact us for your coupons!

4 - Day Contest: What is in photo above? Closest answer wins

The second installment of our 7 part series of Arby's coupons contests is underway. The person who comes the closest to the correct answer will be the winner. If we were to have multiple correct answers - the most thorough will be declared the winner. To enter simply use the "Post A Comment" link at the bottom of this post. You do not need to register or any other bs. Simply check the "Other User" boxes to answer/post. Quick and easy.

Dont forget winner to recieve a current full page ad of many Arby's coupons we got in the mail here in the FP Times test kitchens.

The Burger King Guy - Genius or Offensive? You Tell Us

We received an email here today telling us about "The Burger King Guy". He resides on a webpage and sings a song about working his shift. Apparently this page has caused some controversy in the past by offending some whom saw/heard him sing his song. Take a look and decide for yourself, then post a comment with your take.

On a seperate note, we have it on a reliable food industry source that Burger King uses the best quality beef compared to it's common competition.

The Burger King Guy Page

Bob Green & Frazier Foods Offer Special Fat Pride Times Discount

CEO & General Manager of Frazier Foods, Mr. Bob Green has contacted us with New Year's greetings and a special offer for our readers. Purchase one whole roasted chicken from the deli and recieve a free tub of macaroni salad by simpling mentioning to the checker that you are a Fat Pride Times reader!

Thanks Mr. Green! - from the staff and our readership.

Offer expires on 1/2 at 7 pm.

Reader Visits The Cook Islands & Eats Like A King

One of our International Readers just spent 5 days at The Edgewater Resort in Rarotonga, Cook Islands. We are fortunate to share the above photos from the dinner menu called "South Pacific Night", which our reader enjoyed in the hotel dining room.

The main course was: Samoan Albacore Tuna: a baked tuna steak, served on a bed of fresh roasted coconut wedges, drizzled with pesto/lime sauce and steamed rice.

Between many bottles of Cook's Lager, our reader recalls the dessert as Chocolate Trelline.

Thanks for the excellent International contribution!

Anyone can submit photos or text for posting here by emailing me: fatprider@yahoo.com

The 'Nun Bun' Has Been Stolen - You Bastards!

The infamous pastry that resembles Mother Theresa has been thieved. Please help the FPT and the authorities find and return this priceless pastry. More info from wkrn.com: "Nine years after a muffin came out of the oven with an uncanny resemblance to Mother Teresa, that Nun Bun has been stolen. The Nun Bun heist has put a sad face on the person who first discovered it.
It was ineffable, it was inedible, but now it's gone. Early Christmas morning, an evil grinch pried the door off the Bongo Java cafe and got away with the cinnamon bun.
Before it was stolen, anyone who came into the cafe could see the bun. It sat on a shelf below the cash register. A large cup fill with change and a piggy bank sitting next to the roll were not taken. The roll, which was hard as a rock, had been there a while.
Ryan Finney, discovered the Nun Bun. When he first saw Mother Teresa in the bun, it made big news. Was it a miracle? Who knows? But Finney, who is not Catholic, has been watching over the roll ever since.
Bongo Java's owner Bob Bernstein, dubbed the bun, the Mother Teresa Cinnamon Bun and had T-shirts made up. Soon thereafter, he got a letter from Calcutta from Mother Teresa. The famous missionary didn't want her image or her name used for a commercial purpose. Bernstein decided then to call it the Immaculate Confection. Mother Teresa didn't like that either, so it became the Nun Bun.
According to Bernstein, Mother Teresa discussed the T-shirts bearing her likeness on her deathbed. Her lawyer asked her what she wanted to do about the Nun Bun. Mother Teresa laughed and pointed to her successor, Sister M Nirmala, and said, "find a roll that looks like her."
The Nun Bun Heist has brought the pastry some national publicity, once again. The story appeared on the front page of the Tennessean on Monday, and was covered by ABC and CNN as well.

Foodstuff of The Week: The Red Onion

This week's featured foodstuff is the red onion. As simple as it is complex, the red onion works on so many levels. The research crew here found some history on the wwiz.com:

"The ubiquitous onion has a long, distinguished history and, like garlic, has been endowed with healing properties and mystical significance. For the ancient Egyptians, the onion's nine encircling layers represented eternity. Two thousand years ago, Egyptian princes were reputed to have spent 90 tons of gold buying them just to keep the workmen laboring on the pyramids in good health and spirits. That's a lot of gold and a whole lot of onions!

Throughout world history, onions have been thought of as food for the poor, since the strong odor and taste offended the palates of the wealthy. Yet history also reveals that onions were grown in the gardens of kings, such as Ur-Nammu of Ur in 2100 B.C.

The onion's spherical shape and concentric rings made it a powerful symbol for the universe and for the sun god. The round layers of the onion represented heaven, hell, earth and the universe. The form of the onion was a powerful image of divine perfection.

The vegetable itself was sometimes treated as a sacred object. Some Egyptians would swear their oaths on an onion, as a guarantee of good faith. Priests would not eat them, maybe as a sign of religious commitment or as a way of impressing the public with a feat of abstinence. Mourners and worshipers would sometimes bring onions as funeral gifts during the Old Kingdom period (c. 2615 to 2175 B.C.). A basket of onions was second only to bread as a valued offering. Onions appear in chapel altar pictures; in fact, Egyptian craftsmen would sculpt several vegetable forms in precious metals for the priests to use as temple offerings to the gods.

Still, the most intriguing fact about the onion as it existed in Egypt is in its relationship to the afterlife. According to James E. Harris and Kent R. Weeks, authors of X-Raying the Pharaohs: `They (Egyptians) recognized death, of course, but for them it was not the final, absolute end. Rather, it was the continuation of life in a different form. What they enjoyed and found pleasant in this life they tried to take with them in the next. To insure this, techniques of mummification were developed."

In this process, onions and garlic had both a spiritual and a physical role to play. The body of a deceased person had to be preserved for eternity to insure a "lasting home for the soul," and offerings, including food were placed in or near the tomb to be on hand in the afterlife. Sometimes real food was used, but sometimes scenes or sculpture depicted the items, which became ``real" through rites of magic. Some Egyptologists theorize that onions may have been used because their strong scent and/or magical powers would prompt the dead to breathe again. Other Egyptologists believe it was because onions and garlic were known for their strong antiseptic qualities, which were construed as magical and would be handy in the afterlife.

We do not know exactly when the onion reached Greece. According to Waverley Root in Food, by the time of the Athenian statesman Pericles (born c. 95 B.C.), the market of Athens was selling edible plants. Most of these vegetables were expensive and sold in small quantities, but onions were abundant–and affordable. That is probably why they were widely consumed, especially by the poor. It may also be why they were fed to soldiers.

The Israelites partook of Egyptian onions before Moses let them into Canaan. In the book of Numbers, in the story of the hardships of the odyssey, the Israelites speak fondly of the foods they had enjoyed and leeks, onions and garlic were among the six things that were mentioned.

Centuries later, Pliny the Elder, Rome's keen-eyed observer, wrote of Pompeii's onions before he was overcome and killed by the volcano's heat and fumes. Excavators of the doomed city would later find gardens where, just as Pliny had said, onions had grown. The bulbs had left behind telltale cavities in the ground.

From ancient times, onions have marched through history, a staple and universal foodstuff. They remained that way until the dawn of science, awaiting the magic of contemporary botanists, who would make the humble onion blossom into a bewildering array of shapes and forms.

Today onions are still so important that they are incorporated into everyday sayings, i.e. the French sometimes say, "Occupe toi de tes oignons" (Mind your business.)