Tostitos Creamy Southwestern Ranch DipReader Review

From one of our regular readers:

"I like all things ranch, and most things southwestern. So when I saw this new Tostitos Creamy Southwestern Ranch Dip on the shelf while on a beer run, I grabbed it without hesitation. I already had some Tostinos Crispy Rounds at home".

"This blend is a winner. It tastes very much like a 7 layer bean or taco dip. The consistancy is very much like that of the ranch dip offered by Frito Lay. As you can see it comes in a nice 15.25 oz jar, so there is no reason to not to dip deep!"

Reviewer: Etathed

Thanks for your contribution!
We just a staff member out to get us a jar.

Tom Sawyer Was RightBagged Salad Issues Arise

The staff here at the FPT must acknowledge our reader Tom Sawyer, who warned us about eating the washed bagged salads. Dole has issued an international recall of one of its bagged salads as the product tested positive for E.Coli in Canada.

We should all take a moment and rethink our approach to bagged salad and listen to Tom Sawyer who said this last month "Bag salad is dangerous and toxic. Entirely too many chemicals to give it that fresh, crisp taste. For God's sake DON"T GIVE IT TO YOUR CHILDREN!!!!"

A Decision Has Been RenderedHomemade Taco Pic Winner!

After much deliberation, the outside firm we hired to judge the homemade taco contest has reached a decision. The taco pic from Ethadad is our winner. The mediation team told us it was the paper plates used that put this entry over the top - as paper and plastic is bender-friendly.

Heinz Goes BigNew Supersize Ketchup

Johnny, our guy from the FPT HR department, brought this to our attention. No suprise he noticed this new offering as he puts ketchup on everthing he eats. Heinz, which is the standard of all ketchups is now offering this huge 'fridge size' plastic squeezer size that packs a healthy 64 ounce portion. Props to Heinz for going big.

Taco Picture Contest is Being JudgedA Decision Is Promised Soon

Thanks to all whom submitted pictures of their homemade tacos. We have hired an outside mediation firm to do the judging, and they have allready begun. Results should be within 3 days.

"Popcorn Lung" Forces Changes At Orville Redenbacher's

That buttery popcorn may be satisfying, but long time popcorn king Orville Redenbacher is being forced to change its formula after the discovery that a key chemical ingredient, Diacetyl, has been linked to cases of bronchiolitis obliterans, a rare life-threatening disease often called popcorn lung.

Naturally, we here at the FPT always suggest the use of copious amounts of real butter whenever possible.


More information can be found at the following link: Source - NY Times

Reese's Honors ElvisWith Banana Cream CupsHowever........

One of our regular correspondants checked in yesterday with his take on the new Reese's Elvis Banana Creme Cups. We here at the FPT have not tried them yet, however we recommend you read the folowing and review the above photos before a purchase:

"Props have to go out to the H.B. Reese Candy Co. for honoring the King in such fashion. However the props have to end there. It seems that any variation from the standard Reese Peanut Butter Cup makes for disaster. Albeit, the Reese Crispy Crunchy had me hooked for a bit."

"For starters, every Banana Cream Cup I’ve ever opened has been completely distorted from its true circular state. This has to do with the completely different metabolism of the Banana Cream Cup. It has a very chewy and rubber-like feel to it and always causes quite a mess to the fingers, nothing like the standard cup. After extracting the cups from the paper wrapper, you now have a moldable project on your hands. Chocolate (if that is what you’d like to call it) is left on the wrapper and it is a complete mess. No eating around the Peanut Butter center like with the originals; you are now forced to either pitch it or eat the whole damn thing at once."

"Nice effort Reese’s but please let the King rest in “piece”."

Loaded & Baked Again!Pringles Style

Pringles is now offering a 'loaded and baked' potato flavor of its famous tube chips.

We had thought that the Idahoan potatoes was unique in using this flavor nickname, but things are changing. Two members of our staff will be spending as much time as it takes to find out if there are indeed other food items using this nick and exactly who was first.

These Pringles are excellently loaded & baked and we fully recommend them.

Homemade Taco ContestSubmit Your Photo Via EmailIt Is On

ENTRY FROM: Ethadad

ENTRY FROM: Mr.Cooley - Nevada

ENTRY FROM: Mr. S.Bill - Bangor, Maine

ENTRY FROM: Negative Nancy

ENTRY FROM: Fat Pride Staffers

Let the taco games begin. Photo above is of homemade tacos prepared 500 feet under the Earth's surface in our test kitchens. Many speak of how their tacos are the most best - let us see. We believe our tacos will win, but we will be using a third party for final judging.

It's On.

"Loaded & Baked"Instant Mashed PotatoesMade By Idahoan Brand

This newer foodstuff is awarded the best named offering we have seen in awhile. Loaded & Baked 4 minute mashed potatoes are quite nice - wether you are loaded and/or baked or not. We do not judge here at the FPTimes. Nice portion in this bag - enough for two or one really loaded and baked individual. Idahoan offers other flavors as well but this one stands alone. Five FPT Stars.

Call For Information:Yorkshire Pudding - Need Info

One of our long time readers has asked us to ask our visitors if they have any information on or about the dish called 'Yorkshire Pudding' as he had it while vacationing in the United Kingdom.

One of our staffers floated around some chatrooms with people from Europe within them asking questions about this foodstuff. Some of the replies were: 'it's literally just batter cooked in fat in the oven to form a small savoury pudding normally served with meat and gravy' -- ' a gigantic undercooked savoury donut' -- 'you can get huge ones the size of a plate and fill them with sausages and gravy and veg which is ace' and 'served traditionally the face of george michael embossed in the bottom using a "georging iron". These answers helped, however we are still seeking help from our international base of readers. Please send any photos to us or post any info using the comment link below. We thank you for your help.

FPT Fine Arts Report:A Graceful Bagel Dance

One of our readers sent us to the following video link and decided we needed to post more diverse foodstuff related offerings. This unknown "Sandal Dancer" gracefully performs his moves around a jalapeno and cheese bagel - very unique and captivating.

One of this dancers fans described this performance as "It's like angels are moving your feet and tapping out God's rhythms."

Fat Pride 5-Star Foodstuff:Fresh Express Salsa!Ensalada Supreme

The staff here felt that we should follow our last post about a horrible item with info on one we can stand behind. We are loving the bagged salad kit from Fresh Express called "Salsa! - Ensalada Supreme". This bag comes with nice washed cut salad and a kit with all kinds of kickers to add. Included is tortilla strips, grated cheese, salsa and a spicy creamy dressing. Toss them all in a bowl, roll them around and you got one mean meal.

Fresh Express has a variety of these kits and all the ones we have tried as of yet are all excellent as well.

Pillsbury Low Fat Toaster ScramblesMakes Our Worst Food List

We are not happy campers at the FPT underground test kitchens right about now. This morning we were to sample the Pillsbury Low Fat Toaster Scrambles but we did not get past the first bite. Not sure what we were expecting with these, but what we got was not of this earth. They are like saltine crackers with some nasty cheesey mac spread in them. Absolutely unedible.

Doritos Chips:Flavor Guide

The staff here has really picked up on the new offerings from Doritos brand corn chips. They are trying all kinds of wild new flavors, even unnamed flavors in black bags as well as 2-flavor combo bags. Leanna, from our Accounting Department thoughtfully composd this list for all of us, so that we know whats available. This list is for the US only, our foreign correspondants will be posting soon with international lists.

• Nacho Cheese
  
• Cool Ranch
  
• Toasted Corn
  
• Natural White Nacho Cheese
  
• Ranchero
  
• Salsa Verde
  
• Smokin' Cheddar BBQ
  
• Spicy Nacho
  
• Taco
  
• Fiery Habanero
  
• Wild White Nacho
  
• X-13D
  
• Buffalo Ranch
  

Wendy's New "Baconator" BurgerOur Reviews & Cost Analysis

One of our regular readers clued us in on a new offering from Wendy's called the 'Baconator' and as always we were eager to sample the foodstuff. On our visit we bought two items, the junior bacon cheeseburger at 99 cents and the Baconator at 4.29. As the comparison photos below show you - we are not too impressed with the so-called Baconator.

It has the same crappy paper thin bacon on it and as our reader related to us: "i've got the baconator in my hands,it pretty much pwned me. I'd say i'd rather have 4 bacon cheeseburgers @ 99c over this thing it was $4.68 after taxes."

The staff here is in full agreement with our reader and we will not be 'Baconating' again. However, we do still endorse the 99 cent version.

Reader Tells Tale OfNew Black Burger King Bag

One of our readers sent the following image and story of his experience with the new black bags being used at Burger King. We are sending out a staff member this morning to Burger King to see what this is all about. The new bags appear to be some sort of heat-keeping device that keeps your foodstuffs warm - but we cannot confirm this as of yet.

Our reader tells us: "They are all black, and have a glossy finish. When i first was handed the bag, it was HOT. I was thrown off gaurd and even a bit concerned by the way the new packeging (sic) seemed to be radiating heat..... Well when i got home and stepped out of the car, the bag ripped. Luckily the breakfast sandwiches were still delicious."

Doritos Tortilla Chips: New Flavor Battle& The X-13D Mystery Bag

The kind people over in marketing/development at Doritos have been working on a few unique promotions. First, there was a 'flavor-off' between two new chip offerings: 'Smokin' Cheddar Cheese Flavor' and 'White Cheddar Flavor'. This battle has concluded with 'Smokin' Cheddar Cheese Flavor' winning the rights to be an official new flavor for sale. What happens to the 'White Cheddar' we do not know.

Currently, Doritos is offering a flavor code named X-13D. They come packaged in a basic black and white bag with all the looks of a scientific experiment. Premise of this promotion is to have eaters email in suggestions for a final name for this chip.

Our staff has noticed a strong beefy taste, with perhaps some bbq or spicy sauce as well. Very unusual taste - we recommend you mack one down and throw a name in the bag.

New Lays StaxJust The Facts

The staff here at the FPT is currently evaluating a can/cannister of the new Lays Stax chips. They are similar to Pringles in that they come in a stack, but different in that the container is plastic. We found this can to be lacking in volume and with a big empty portion when actual chip stack is measured against the container - similar to Pringles. We will be macking on these today and deciding wether or not we will be making the switch from Pringles to Stax.

We found the label to be odd in that it talks about how these chips are the ultimate way to recharge.

KFC Employee Training TapesOnline Vintage AudioFrom AprilWinchell.com

"You are responsible for making QSC happen!"

The lovely and talented radio/television voiceover celebrity April Winchell has made available some truly great training tapes from Kentucky Fried Chicken dating back to the 1970's. The FPT staff highly recommends you visit her link below and give these a listen. Below is a list of the offerings and the link.

April Winchell KFC Multimedia


"QSC" (831.1 K) Quality, Service and Cleanliness. Special bonus: unbelievably bad acting

Bacteria (607.4 K) Larry and Gary chat about Salmonella

Cleaning the Lobby and Kitchen (545 K) Tom can't stop to talk, he's got to clean those walls

Cleaning the Windows (650.7 K) "Ammonia? That went out with Ivy League Pants!

Extra Crispy (438.9 K) The wonders of science

Good Service (908.3 K) Think of your employees as a football team, and you're the mascot with the giant head

Internal Audits (1.2 MB) I think Dennis is hot for Andy

Manager Bob's Pep Talk (737.1 K) I'd like to knock Manager Bob's teeth down his throat

Original Recipe History (692.9 K) It's all about that 11th ingredient
Suggestive Selling (993.3 K) "If he really looks hungry, suggest some hot, delicious corn!"

Taking Orders (773.3 K) Just remember to push the corn

The Talkin' Chicken (588.6 K) Charlene the chicken wishes she was good enough to be killed and battered

Using the Star System (1.3 MB) Mr. Davis and Tony talk about "orientation"

April Winchell KFC Multimedia