Friday, September 29, 2006

Friday Night Fights:
Swedish Fish v. Ju Ju Fish

Having recently found a source for the authentic "Swedish Fish" jellied type candies, the staff here decided to stage a battle royale to determine pound for pound which jellied fish was the true champion.

The photo above was taken at the night before weigh-in in a casino meeting hall booked by the promoters. As in most profesional sports press, each fish used heavily logoed backdrops from their brand name endorsers.

The knock-off brand "Ju Ju Fish" was pitted against the authentic "Swedish Fish" in a four-flavor, eight round old-fashioned fish fight.

As most here predicted, the "Swedish Fish" just pummelled its way to victory over the "Ju Ju Fish" in a TKO decision in the third round.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Recommended Reading:
Fat! Fit? Fabulous!
By Lauren Gard
For East Bay Express

We have received a reader email that pointed to an interesting article that we here at the Fat Pride Times encourage you to read.

Meet the East Bay activists and researchers at the center of the new civil-rights movement known as Health at Every Size.

By Lauren Gard

Article Published Sep 13, 2006 Fat! Fit? Fabulous! by Lauren Gard

Monday, September 25, 2006

The Bender Royale

When the staff here at the Fat Pride Times went home on Friday, we were not aware that one of our people had plans to stay behind. The FPT Test Kitchens are located 500 feet below the Earth's crust and are locked and sealed tight when we are away. This meant that our (former) staff member was down in the kitchens all weekend gorging on our stock of foodstuffs. Two of us showed up this morning to open up and we heard some strange grunts and like wrapper crumplin noise - then we saw 'Dave' running away and up the metal rungs out into the morning air. He left behind a disturbing note on which we are going to have to terminate his empoyment here (with due cause). Plus, as the photo shows. Ol' Chunky left behind a mad pile of rubbish from his bender. We all here wish him well and hope he gets the meds he needs asap.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Frozen Corned Beef
Is This Too Old?
Seeking Reader Input
Can We Eat It?

A friend of the FPT recently left town and brought over the frozen foodstuffs that were in his family's freezer. While most were recent purchases and have allready been consumed, there is the above piece of corned beef. Frozen on/before May 17, 2004: this meat is now over 2 years and 5 months old. The staff here loves corned beef but we are not sure if this is still safe to consume and we are calling on your expertise as FPT readers to comment to us your opinions.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

The Fat Pride Times
Spam Folder Bender

After sorting thru the 100's of emails we receive at the FPT on a daily basis, sometimes we have a look into our junk mail bin. Look at this bender they want us to go on. First, I get the Homlel of my dreams, then visit Taco Bell & McDonald's with vouchers, Pick up my Coach brand bags and hop on for an airline flight. Upon arrival, I immediately will be getting some leg and using Trojan latex condoms for protection, followed by more Taco Bell then finally a nice shave by Gillette Fusion. Right after, I join a dating service and will be coming into more Trojans! The bender ends with 3 trips to Taco Bell and the capper at McDonald's.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Researchers Declare:
Obesity Is The
Worldwide Pandemic

Research out of Australia is reporting that there are currently over 1 billion obese adults on the planet. "This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world, It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu" said Paul Zimmet. The week-long International Congress on Obesity recently took place with Zimmet as the acting chairman of 2500 international health experts.

The Fat Pride Times is taking the position that this is a problem - however people need to stop blaming food. The problem is people never get off their cans and move around whatsoever. Food is getting a bad rap on this.

Test Kitchen Report:
Steakhouse Choice
Frozen Burger Box

A staff member noticed these 'gourmet' pub-style frozen jalapeno and cheddar burger patty boxes on sale the other evening. Price was 7.99 for 6 burgers - we found that to be a nice price. Going into the FatPride Times Test Kitchen, the group consensus was that these were probably gonna be so-so. However, when you add the proper toppings and spices they make one nice item. Our method - as shown above - was to spice it with red chili pepper flakes, let it cook around a large portion of red onion pieces and then melted cheddar upon the top. Turned out to be one of our more recent favorites - however keep in mind that a real meal will require two of these patties per person.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Reader Recommends:
Chocolate Panned Peanuts

One of our readers sent us this picture taken of a bag of snacks he had taken quite a liking too. We will let the photo do the talking. What is interesting is that this store is actually quite normal and this product doesnt seem to fit in with the other offerings. Sperryville Emporium