Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Heinz Top-This TV Challenge
Home Made Commercial Contest
2nd Round Due To Popularity

The good people at Heinz has so much interest in their 'Top This TV Challenge' make your own Heinz catsup commercial that they have opened up round two. They are calling out for video submissions with the winner receiving 57,000 and a spot on national television!

This second round began accepting videos on December 14th and runs thru March 14th. We expect this to be a fierce battle and we will be submitting an entry from the FPT Test Kitchens. Heinz judges will pick 10 finalists and then the public will decide the winner by voting via the website linked below. This website also has much more info and videos from the first round to watch.

Heinz Top This TV Challenge Take Two

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Twice As Much Ketchup Packets - Heinz Understands Our Needs!

When our intern Randy came back the other day with burgers and fries for the staff from a local Mom & Pop burger barn he had something in the feedbags that really was a big hit with us here. Heinz now offers a 'Twice As Much' ketchup packet.

As we all know, those standard old ones were hardly even worth the effort of tearing each one open. We do not expect these to become the standard free packets at other burger places as they must cost the restauranteur perhaps twice as much as the standards. The place we got them from makes homemade style burgers and fries and it costs about 6.00 to get a decent burger and big sack of homemade fries.

Respect to Heinz for a truly innovative and useful new condiment packet portion. The packet you see above measures 4.25" x 1.33" in size and has 0.635 oz(18g) of product.

Monday, December 17, 2007

The McDonald's Rap From

Pumpkin Egg Nog Photo
Thanks To Unknown Reader

As the calendar year comes to an end, the staff here always tries to do a 'winter clean-up', where we go thru not just our foodstuffs but also our files. Jacob, who has been on level 3 of our test kitchens for over a year found this picture sent anonymously from a reader. The maker is 'HOOD' dairies and we wish we had some to sample.

Hopefully this will help you remember to get some nog on your next visit to the grocery store.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

NEW - Poppin' Jalapeno Doritos
Guest Review By Ethadad

I like a jalapeno in just about any form.......fried slices, jalapeno poppers with cheddar or cream cheese, or as a topping on some super nachos, and today I can add Poppin Jalapeno flavored Doritos to that list.

Don't know how long these have been on the shelves, but i saw them today for the first time and had to give them a try. Though they contain some artificial flavor, they have a very real jalepeno flavor. These do not come across as "hot," like the Fiery Habenero flavor. In fact the lack of overpowering heat lets the flavor of the jalapeno come through, and it works. These would go really well in a Doritos Collision Bag paired up with something like a cool ranch flavor, or maybe even the original nacho cheesier. I highly suggest trying these, if you haven't already.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Michelina's Budget Gourmet Meatloaf
Interesting Ingredient Found

On a recent shopping trip our acquisitions staff came back with one item that immediately started up a debate with the staff. The item is Michelina's Budget Gourmet Meatloaf, which was on sale for 1.00 per box. The sub-name Budget Gourmet is a high standards oxymoron to live up to and so we heated this up right off the top.

We found the meatloaf to be acceptable for the price and would be great to have 10 of these in your garage freezer for unexpected benders.

The most interesting thing about this foodstuff is the ingredients listing, which is very long. The main ingredient is water - interesting, but not as interesting as the last ingredient of FISH(anchovies). This is now the second time we have found fish in items that one would never expect (see some flavors of Pringles).

If someone know what is the real deal on this please comment below.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

McDonalds Chicken Snack Wraps
They Appear To Be Smaller
Please Report Your Experience

Late last night as I was driving home from our weekly staff dinner meeting (this time at Baja Fresh) - I felt the need for more foodstuffs and drove thru McDonalds and ordered two crispy honey mustrad snack wraps.

Upon arrival at my own table - I opened the bag to find that these wraps were app. 3/4" shorter than what I usually receive when ordering this snacker wrap.

Could fellow readers who enjoy this item - please try the McDonalds in your area and let me know if you feel the same. The Fat Pride Times is strongly opiniated about lowering portion size without a declaration of such.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Nachos Grande Maximum Review
From W. VA Guest Reviewer Ethadad

If you ever find yourself in the small ski town of
Snowshoe West Virginia, be sure to stop by Misty's
Sports Bar for what may very well be the Best Nachos

To call this an "order" of nachos is just flat out
insulting to what is clearly a "meal" or "feast" of
nacho goodness. While i do not have an official
number, this delicious conglomerate of nacho chips,
chili, cheese, salsa, sour cream, and jalapenos must
weigh somewhere between 3 and 5 gut expanding pounds.

Don't fool yourself, this experiance does come with a
price. An upset stomach and some serious discomfort
often follow the feast. Factor in the value price of
$6.99, and it's all well worth it, knowing you may
very well have just had the Best Nachos Ever.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Double Deep Pizza from Pizza Hut
Guest Review by Bone Tossing Monkey

Have you ever looked at a serving of food and wondered if your heart would still be functioning after eating it? Well, I felt that way upon opening the newest Pizza Hut pizza. It's called the "Double Deep Pizza", and it was debuted on November 25th. The essence of this pizza is basically doubling everything - from cheese to toppings.

I'm not sure why they had to make an entire marketing campaign and create a new pizza just for "extra toppings". Regardless, it arrived at my door and it was pizza, so I'm not complaining.

Pizza Hut is known for being especially greasy (despite the unhealthiness of it, I enjoy a greasy pizza - it slides down the gullet that much faster). This pizza is no different. It was oozing grease as the massive cheese, pepperoni, and sausage strained against the crust.

Each slice felt almost heavy as I shoveled it in my mouth. So far so good. Nothing extraordinary here. Your basic Pizza Hut pizza, except much heavier. The real downside of this is the crust. It's dull, bland, and nothing special. Evidently it is "curved inward" to hold in all the toppings, but it didn't impress me much.

As far as pizza innovation is concerned, this one fails miserably. I can remember many years ago when Pizza Hut would put out daring pizzas like the Triple Decker. Unfortunately, marketing has won out, and this is just another gimmick in the crowded marketplace of major pizza delivery chains.

Taste: B+
Enjoyment: C-

Friday, November 23, 2007

The Traditional Reader's
Turkey Photo Winner

After sorting thru the 100's of turkey photos we received at the Fat Pride test kitchen - we have declared Magnum's the winner. This ends the 2 year run of the Jackball turkey as back to back winner. Nice bird.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Name This Meal Mystery Contest
Enter Your Guess

One of our regular associates prepared what appears to be a fantastic culinary achievement. While us staffers know what it is - we have decided to run a 'name that plate' contest. Please study photos closely, and then more closelier and take a guess using the comments link below (no login needed). Winner gets a gank of Arby's coupons and 22 fast food condiment packets. Game on.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Domino's Crispy Melt Pizza
Review by Bone Tossing Monkey

I was very disappointed when I first opened the box. It looked
nothing like the pictures on TV. Unfortunately that wasn't the only
time I was disappointed. This "crispy, melty" deal just wasn't
happening. It's basically a glorified thin-crust pizza. The outside,
the "crispy", is just burnt cheese. So there really isn't much
crispiness to it. The inside is a regular pizza. It's smushed in
there like a thin crust pizza is. The only good part about this pizza
is the fact that there are two crusts, and it almost feels chewy.
Oddly enough, this pizza tasted better when it was cold. It had sat
in the fridge all day and tasted better once I took it out. Another
negative: it's too expensive. Domino's medium pizza is very small, so
I felt the deal wasn't right. I felt a regular pizza is just so much
more satisfying.

Final conclusion: try it once, but I doubt you'll come back.
Grade: C-

Next week: Did Pizza Hut add more cheese to their Stuffed Crust
Pizza? Or will they fail the Bone Tossing Monkey test?

Friday, November 02, 2007

Square Table Roundtable Discussion (Buffet to Follow)

Let's face it folks, a table is a table. Square, round, rectangular, etc. What is important is what you put it to use for. Oh great supporter of food and beast alike, we salute you in your many legged splendor. Your structure provides the strength and stability that allows your surface to offer its goods. We here at the Fat Pride Times are behumbled by your patience and quiet grace. ------ Note: Buffet to follow in the Red Room. 32 items, doors at 6pm. You are encouraged to bring your favorite table stories and anecdotes to share.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Pringles Roundtable Discussion

We at the FPT believe in the roundtable type of discussion. The topic for this discussion was Pringles & their new flavors. Unfortunately, only 2 people made it to the session. Three if you count Leanne the administrative assistant who took the notes.

TomSawyer: i just bought some pringles selects
TomSawyer: parmasian
TomSawyer: $2 dollar a bag at the $1 store
TomSawyer: i have just opened the bag
TomSawyer: interesting aroma
TomSawyer: give is a little shack
TomSawyer: shake, i mean
TomSawyer: not entirely a pleasant smell, with a hint of cheese perhaps
TomSawyer: somewhat stale, but the expiration says 7-2008
TomSawyer: now for the taste test
TomSawyer: crunchy is my first impression, about 1/3 the size but maybe 2x to 3x the thickness of a normal pringle
TomSawyer: a little greasier as well, leaving behind a powdered residue of what i imagine to be parmesian cheese, which is listed as an actual ingredient on the label
TomSawyer: they're a little bland, perhaps could have used more salt
Sawyer: a common complaint of mine - pringles without high salt content are very tasteless
TomSawyer: the other variety they had was cinnamon
FP: i have cheesy onion dip flavor
FP: must be test marketing
TomSawyer: prolly taste better with a high sugar and cinnamon content
TomSawyer: i would not recommend these chips
Sawyer: they may be better with a dip, but really they're too small for effective dipping
FP: i use the curve like a spoon
TomSawyer: these aren't even that curved really
TomSawyer: these are "pringles select"
FP: hmm
FP: mine are 'exclusive'
TomSawyer: come in a bag
FP: whaaaaaaaaa
TomSawyer: 5.5 oz bag
TomSawyer: "A unique taste escape"
TomSawyer: "like a parmesan cheese wheel rolling through a garlic patch"
TomSawyer: that must be what that nasty smell is --: garlic
TomSawyer: they should put that on the front so people don't throw up
TomSawyer: 6 servings, 140 calories per
TomSawyer: calories from fat 80 per serving
TomSawyer: 0g trans fat apparently
TomSawyer: oh it does say garlic on the front real small
FP: jesus
FP: check your ingredients at end
FP: mine says contains fish
FP: talapia
FP: and nile pike

Sunday, October 14, 2007

The New Red Baron
Microwave Panini Sandwiches

Ok, we found these guys on sale for 2.00 a sandwich so we decided to sample it. The staff here has tried Red Baron pizza resulting in a good/not good debate - but the price sucked us in.

What can be said, these microwave toasted sandwiches beat the other popular brands out there (Stouffer etc..). They have better varieties, better priced even when not on sale and most important they taste the best. We suggest purchasing one or more asap.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Reader Reveals Promo Code:
Free Medium Domino's Pizza

One of our regular readers and powersquatting cronies has let us in on an amazing deal from Domino's Pizza if you order online. Simply enetr the promo code 'CLICK' and you will get one free medium pizza - no bs. You may have to pick-up, depending on service in your area. Free pizza friday and hopefully longer.

Coolest Sandwiches Ever!
Must See Photos

What you see above is plain bread - what you will see via this link is not of the same universe.

One of our correspondants turned us on too what is easily a photo gallery with "the coolest looking sandwiches ever made. Click below and enjoy the sandwich show and thanks to our reader who pointed us to them!


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

How To Make Coca Cola Chicken Wings
Video Demo Shows All!

Reggie down in our content developemnt department earned some bonus points today as he has found us a video of howq to prepare Coke flavored chicken wings, watch as the chef adds about 2/3 a can to a saute pan of wings - other spices are incorporated as well. Must be watched to understand. We have just added it to Thursday's afternoon test cook-off schedule. Our compliments to both the chef and the filmaker. Well done.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Chicken Of The Sea:
Alaskan Pink Salmon Pouches

Our staff came across this by happenstance the other day and we decided to give it a trial. It was on sale for an amazing 1.00 - regular price of 2.00 and some change. This stuff is not bad at all - was actually expecting it to be nasty but we were pleasantly suprised of the quality. It can be used about 1000 ways as well.

The one thing that we found interesting is that this is salmon caught in Alaska, then packaged in Thailand, then distibuted out of San Diego. This fish does some serious globe-trekking.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Tostitos Creamy Southwestern Ranch Dip
Reader Review

From one of our regular readers:

"I like all things ranch, and most things southwestern. So when I saw this new Tostitos Creamy Southwestern Ranch Dip on the shelf while on a beer run, I grabbed it without hesitation. I already had some Tostinos Crispy Rounds at home".

"This blend is a winner. It tastes very much like a 7 layer bean or taco dip. The consistancy is very much like that of the ranch dip offered by Frito Lay. As you can see it comes in a nice 15.25 oz jar, so there is no reason to not to dip deep!"

Reviewer: Etathed

Thanks for your contribution!
We just a staff member out to get us a jar.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tom Sawyer Was Right
Bagged Salad Issues Arise

The staff here at the FPT must acknowledge our reader Tom Sawyer, who warned us about eating the washed bagged salads. Dole has issued an international recall of one of its bagged salads as the product tested positive for E.Coli in Canada.

We should all take a moment and rethink our approach to bagged salad and listen to Tom Sawyer who said this last month "Bag salad is dangerous and toxic. Entirely too many chemicals to give it that fresh, crisp taste. For God's sake DON"T GIVE IT TO YOUR CHILDREN!!!!"

Monday, September 17, 2007

A Decision Has Been Rendered
Homemade Taco Pic Winner!

After much deliberation, the outside firm we hired to judge the homemade taco contest has reached a decision. The taco pic from Ethadad is our winner. The mediation team told us it was the paper plates used that put this entry over the top - as paper and plastic is bender-friendly.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Heinz Goes Big
New Supersize Ketchup

Johnny, our guy from the FPT HR department, brought this to our attention. No suprise he noticed this new offering as he puts ketchup on everthing he eats. Heinz, which is the standard of all ketchups is now offering this huge 'fridge size' plastic squeezer size that packs a healthy 64 ounce portion. Props to Heinz for going big.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Taco Picture Contest is Being Judged
A Decision Is Promised Soon

Thanks to all whom submitted pictures of their homemade tacos. We have hired an outside mediation firm to do the judging, and they have allready begun. Results should be within 3 days.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

"Popcorn Lung" Forces Changes At Orville Redenbacher's

That buttery popcorn may be satisfying, but long time popcorn king Orville Redenbacher is being forced to change its formula after the discovery that a key chemical ingredient, Diacetyl, has been linked to cases of bronchiolitis obliterans, a rare life-threatening disease often called popcorn lung.

Naturally, we here at the FPT always suggest the use of copious amounts of real butter whenever possible.

More information can be found at the following link: Source - NY Times

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Reese's Honors Elvis
With Banana Cream Cups

One of our regular correspondants checked in yesterday with his take on the new Reese's Elvis Banana Creme Cups. We here at the FPT have not tried them yet, however we recommend you read the folowing and review the above photos before a purchase:

"Props have to go out to the H.B. Reese Candy Co. for honoring the King in such fashion. However the props have to end there. It seems that any variation from the standard Reese Peanut Butter Cup makes for disaster. Albeit, the Reese Crispy Crunchy had me hooked for a bit."

"For starters, every Banana Cream Cup I’ve ever opened has been completely distorted from its true circular state. This has to do with the completely different metabolism of the Banana Cream Cup. It has a very chewy and rubber-like feel to it and always causes quite a mess to the fingers, nothing like the standard cup. After extracting the cups from the paper wrapper, you now have a moldable project on your hands. Chocolate (if that is what you’d like to call it) is left on the wrapper and it is a complete mess. No eating around the Peanut Butter center like with the originals; you are now forced to either pitch it or eat the whole damn thing at once."

"Nice effort Reese’s but please let the King rest in “piece”."

Friday, August 31, 2007

Loaded & Baked Again!
Pringles Style

Pringles is now offering a 'loaded and baked' potato flavor of its famous tube chips.

We had thought that the Idahoan potatoes was unique in using this flavor nickname, but things are changing. Two members of our staff will be spending as much time as it takes to find out if there are indeed other food items using this nick and exactly who was first.

These Pringles are excellently loaded & baked and we fully recommend them.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Homemade Taco Contest
Submit Your Photo Via Email
It Is On


ENTRY FROM: Mr.Cooley - Nevada

ENTRY FROM: Mr. S.Bill - Bangor, Maine

ENTRY FROM: Negative Nancy

ENTRY FROM: Fat Pride Staffers

Let the taco games begin. Photo above is of homemade tacos prepared 500 feet under the Earth's surface in our test kitchens. Many speak of how their tacos are the most best - let us see. We believe our tacos will win, but we will be using a third party for final judging.

It's On.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

"Loaded & Baked"
Instant Mashed Potatoes
Made By Idahoan Brand

This newer foodstuff is awarded the best named offering we have seen in awhile. Loaded & Baked 4 minute mashed potatoes are quite nice - wether you are loaded and/or baked or not. We do not judge here at the FPTimes. Nice portion in this bag - enough for two or one really loaded and baked individual. Idahoan offers other flavors as well but this one stands alone. Five FPT Stars.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Call For Information:
Yorkshire Pudding - Need Info

One of our long time readers has asked us to ask our visitors if they have any information on or about the dish called 'Yorkshire Pudding' as he had it while vacationing in the United Kingdom.

One of our staffers floated around some chatrooms with people from Europe within them asking questions about this foodstuff. Some of the replies were: 'it's literally just batter cooked in fat in the oven to form a small savoury pudding normally served with meat and gravy' -- ' a gigantic undercooked savoury donut' -- 'you can get huge ones the size of a plate and fill them with sausages and gravy and veg which is ace' and 'served traditionally the face of george michael embossed in the bottom using a "georging iron". These answers helped, however we are still seeking help from our international base of readers. Please send any photos to us or post any info using the comment link below. We thank you for your help.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

FPT Fine Arts Report:
A Graceful Bagel Dance

One of our readers sent us to the following video link and decided we needed to post more diverse foodstuff related offerings. This unknown "Sandal Dancer" gracefully performs his moves around a jalapeno and cheese bagel - very unique and captivating.

One of this dancers fans described this performance as "It's like angels are moving your feet and tapping out God's rhythms."

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fat Pride 5-Star Foodstuff:
Fresh Express Salsa!
Ensalada Supreme

The staff here felt that we should follow our last post about a horrible item with info on one we can stand behind. We are loving the bagged salad kit from Fresh Express called "Salsa! - Ensalada Supreme". This bag comes with nice washed cut salad and a kit with all kinds of kickers to add. Included is tortilla strips, grated cheese, salsa and a spicy creamy dressing. Toss them all in a bowl, roll them around and you got one mean meal.

Fresh Express has a variety of these kits and all the ones we have tried as of yet are all excellent as well.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Pillsbury Low Fat Toaster Scrambles
Makes Our Worst Food List

We are not happy campers at the FPT underground test kitchens right about now. This morning we were to sample the Pillsbury Low Fat Toaster Scrambles but we did not get past the first bite. Not sure what we were expecting with these, but what we got was not of this earth. They are like saltine crackers with some nasty cheesey mac spread in them. Absolutely unedible.