Saturday, November 14, 2009

Mongo's Mongologues 6: Response To Last Post & Rib-Eye Steak Rockin'

Dear FPT readers,

Did you all actually think that there is such an actual thing as a wamagranate? Please refer to my post. With particular respect to the last line. It was a Halloween trick. Now, I expect my readers to fork my treat. In all seriousness, it was just a very, very strange watermelon. IaM have never seen one that has been split into symetrically equivalent thirds like that before. Okay, having said that, fork my treat!

Before we discuss today's topic, I must impart to our FPT readers a recipe that I found on Von's web-site yesterday: Moroccan Lamb Pilaf. Lamb is also an essential foodstuff, but is beyond the realm of today's discussion.

Today, we discuss beef, the anti-white meat. For those who do not know, all of the best cuts of beef come from the parts of the animal that are not extensively used. That is, parts of the beast that are not used for mobility. Shank, Chuck, Round, and brisket are all cuts from the beast that the beast uses to walk around. Thus, these cuts are tough. Chuck and Round and so forth can be made into a delicious meal, but they require more cooking. The best cuts are from the rib-cage of the beast, and some cuts closer to the chute of the animal. These include the rib-cuts, the loin, top sirloin, and so forth (a porterhouse steak also comes from the same regions).

Today, IaM brings to you the beauty of a Rib-eye steak. Our more observant readers may note that the Rib-eye steak, also known as a Spencer Steak, looks remarkably similiar to a Prime Rib of beef. This is for the reason that they come from the same regions. If one views the first picture, we see the rib-eye in the rough from Vons. It is an expensive cut of beef; normally, about $10 a pound.

To properly cook a rib-eye steak, one first procures a suitcase. For you motards who don't know me, a suitcase is a 30-pack of Coors Light. Once again, procure mesquite coals. Throw coals into grill. Light coals. Let coals get nice and red hot. Take rib-eye steak and throw on grill. Cook to taste. A rib-eye is best cooked no more than medium well.

IaM has more treats in store for our FPT readers. But, today, shortly, USC is going to cane Stanford. Thus, IaM must prepare for this lashing. Please send any questions about this delicious steak to the moderator and I will promptly respond.

Sincerely, IaM


Big Billiam - NY said...

You still want a treat. I got one for you. Come up in my sleeper rig.

Barnabus (FPT Charter) said...

I really want to know exactly how many coals he used, and if 'match-light' or standard. plz share. I know the smokey joe's can produce the heat with very little combustibles, but wow you are getting a nice char on that mofo with next to nothing AFAICT. Ty Mongo, you are an American success story. USA! USA!

Anonymous said...

Dear Barny,

I procure the real mesquite coals from a BT market called "Jons."

One observes upon opening the bag that the mesquite coals come from wood. Somehow, they torch the mesquite leaving almost pure carbon. It is a little difficult to get the coals burning properly; a large amount of lighter fluid is necessary.

With respect to how many coals are used, it depends upon how fucked up you are. Ususally, I slam a bunch of beers, take the bag of mesquite and turn it upside down. Coals invariably drop into the grill. From experience, I've learned that if you slam about 20 beers, the correct amount of coals always end up in the grill.

Thank you for slopping the hog at the FPT.


crim_ said...

Was there any assplay during the grilling? Is that OK around here or am I on the wrong page.

Big Billiam - NY said...

I prefer it rare.