Chinese Fortune Cookie Art

One of our staff members here at the FP Times recently discovered a fortune cookie that he had put up on a shelf above his desk. It was put there around one month ago and from the picture below you can see that it has 'unfolded' open to display the paper message. We have placed this treasure in a sealed tupperware box for storage while we ponder it's message and mode of delivery.

FAT PRIDE TIMES PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:Please keep your foodholes clean people

In conjuction with some health deal we are running a public service announcement here on The Fat Pride Times.

Food basically involves two holes in your body. It is of the upmost importance for an individual to jeep these holes clean. For your mouth - basic hygeine is a minimum. Please use a dental rinse and floss regularly. As for your buttocks, please people keep this arena clean. Use enough toilet paper and as some readers have told us before they shower after every bowel movement to keep it really real.

Please continue to enjoy the world of food, but let us work harder in keeping hygiene a top priority.

We Have A Winner For The Arby's Coupons!

The reader 'PhunkyPherret' came the closest with this answer: This is a sculpture of a milkman and his truck, made out of solidified milk and cottage cheese. Maybe some mozzarella. It could be asiago, but I'm pretty sure the secondary cheese is mozzarella. It was commissioned by Creamland Dairies for the 2004 "Milk Does A Body Good" campaign. It expires next month.

The actual correct answer is: Keeping with the nostalgic theme of this year's event, Jim Victor of Conshohocken turned 1,000 pounds of butter into a sculpture depicting an old-fashioned milk delivery wagon and two men unloading a modern milk-vending machine. Butter sculptures, an artistic way of highlighting the state's national role in butter production, usually are made from 800 pounds of butter donated by the Land O'Lakes plant in South Middletown Twp. This year's sculpture, displayed in a glass-encased cooler in the Maclay Street entrance to the complex, required more butter because of its size, Victor said.

PhunkyPherret please contact us for your coupons!

4 - Day Contest: What is in photo above? Closest answer wins

The second installment of our 7 part series of Arby's coupons contests is underway. The person who comes the closest to the correct answer will be the winner. If we were to have multiple correct answers - the most thorough will be declared the winner. To enter simply use the "Post A Comment" link at the bottom of this post. You do not need to register or any other bs. Simply check the "Other User" boxes to answer/post. Quick and easy.

Dont forget winner to recieve a current full page ad of many Arby's coupons we got in the mail here in the FP Times test kitchens.

The Burger King Guy - Genius or Offensive? You Tell Us

We received an email here today telling us about "The Burger King Guy". He resides on a webpage and sings a song about working his shift. Apparently this page has caused some controversy in the past by offending some whom saw/heard him sing his song. Take a look and decide for yourself, then post a comment with your take.

On a seperate note, we have it on a reliable food industry source that Burger King uses the best quality beef compared to it's common competition.

The Burger King Guy Page

Bob Green & Frazier Foods Offer Special Fat Pride Times Discount

CEO & General Manager of Frazier Foods, Mr. Bob Green has contacted us with New Year's greetings and a special offer for our readers. Purchase one whole roasted chicken from the deli and recieve a free tub of macaroni salad by simpling mentioning to the checker that you are a Fat Pride Times reader!

Thanks Mr. Green! - from the staff and our readership.

Offer expires on 1/2 at 7 pm.

Reader Visits The Cook Islands & Eats Like A King

One of our International Readers just spent 5 days at The Edgewater Resort in Rarotonga, Cook Islands. We are fortunate to share the above photos from the dinner menu called "South Pacific Night", which our reader enjoyed in the hotel dining room.

The main course was: Samoan Albacore Tuna: a baked tuna steak, served on a bed of fresh roasted coconut wedges, drizzled with pesto/lime sauce and steamed rice.

Between many bottles of Cook's Lager, our reader recalls the dessert as Chocolate Trelline.

Thanks for the excellent International contribution!

Anyone can submit photos or text for posting here by emailing me: fatprider@yahoo.com

The 'Nun Bun' Has Been Stolen - You Bastards!

The infamous pastry that resembles Mother Theresa has been thieved. Please help the FPT and the authorities find and return this priceless pastry. More info from wkrn.com: "Nine years after a muffin came out of the oven with an uncanny resemblance to Mother Teresa, that Nun Bun has been stolen. The Nun Bun heist has put a sad face on the person who first discovered it.
It was ineffable, it was inedible, but now it's gone. Early Christmas morning, an evil grinch pried the door off the Bongo Java cafe and got away with the cinnamon bun.
Before it was stolen, anyone who came into the cafe could see the bun. It sat on a shelf below the cash register. A large cup fill with change and a piggy bank sitting next to the roll were not taken. The roll, which was hard as a rock, had been there a while.
Ryan Finney, discovered the Nun Bun. When he first saw Mother Teresa in the bun, it made big news. Was it a miracle? Who knows? But Finney, who is not Catholic, has been watching over the roll ever since.
Bongo Java's owner Bob Bernstein, dubbed the bun, the Mother Teresa Cinnamon Bun and had T-shirts made up. Soon thereafter, he got a letter from Calcutta from Mother Teresa. The famous missionary didn't want her image or her name used for a commercial purpose. Bernstein decided then to call it the Immaculate Confection. Mother Teresa didn't like that either, so it became the Nun Bun.
According to Bernstein, Mother Teresa discussed the T-shirts bearing her likeness on her deathbed. Her lawyer asked her what she wanted to do about the Nun Bun. Mother Teresa laughed and pointed to her successor, Sister M Nirmala, and said, "find a roll that looks like her."
The Nun Bun Heist has brought the pastry some national publicity, once again. The story appeared on the front page of the Tennessean on Monday, and was covered by ABC and CNN as well.

Foodstuff of The Week: The Red Onion

This week's featured foodstuff is the red onion. As simple as it is complex, the red onion works on so many levels. The research crew here found some history on the wwiz.com:

"The ubiquitous onion has a long, distinguished history and, like garlic, has been endowed with healing properties and mystical significance. For the ancient Egyptians, the onion's nine encircling layers represented eternity. Two thousand years ago, Egyptian princes were reputed to have spent 90 tons of gold buying them just to keep the workmen laboring on the pyramids in good health and spirits. That's a lot of gold and a whole lot of onions!

Throughout world history, onions have been thought of as food for the poor, since the strong odor and taste offended the palates of the wealthy. Yet history also reveals that onions were grown in the gardens of kings, such as Ur-Nammu of Ur in 2100 B.C.

The onion's spherical shape and concentric rings made it a powerful symbol for the universe and for the sun god. The round layers of the onion represented heaven, hell, earth and the universe. The form of the onion was a powerful image of divine perfection.

The vegetable itself was sometimes treated as a sacred object. Some Egyptians would swear their oaths on an onion, as a guarantee of good faith. Priests would not eat them, maybe as a sign of religious commitment or as a way of impressing the public with a feat of abstinence. Mourners and worshipers would sometimes bring onions as funeral gifts during the Old Kingdom period (c. 2615 to 2175 B.C.). A basket of onions was second only to bread as a valued offering. Onions appear in chapel altar pictures; in fact, Egyptian craftsmen would sculpt several vegetable forms in precious metals for the priests to use as temple offerings to the gods.

Still, the most intriguing fact about the onion as it existed in Egypt is in its relationship to the afterlife. According to James E. Harris and Kent R. Weeks, authors of X-Raying the Pharaohs: `They (Egyptians) recognized death, of course, but for them it was not the final, absolute end. Rather, it was the continuation of life in a different form. What they enjoyed and found pleasant in this life they tried to take with them in the next. To insure this, techniques of mummification were developed."

In this process, onions and garlic had both a spiritual and a physical role to play. The body of a deceased person had to be preserved for eternity to insure a "lasting home for the soul," and offerings, including food were placed in or near the tomb to be on hand in the afterlife. Sometimes real food was used, but sometimes scenes or sculpture depicted the items, which became ``real" through rites of magic. Some Egyptologists theorize that onions may have been used because their strong scent and/or magical powers would prompt the dead to breathe again. Other Egyptologists believe it was because onions and garlic were known for their strong antiseptic qualities, which were construed as magical and would be handy in the afterlife.

We do not know exactly when the onion reached Greece. According to Waverley Root in Food, by the time of the Athenian statesman Pericles (born c. 95 B.C.), the market of Athens was selling edible plants. Most of these vegetables were expensive and sold in small quantities, but onions were abundant–and affordable. That is probably why they were widely consumed, especially by the poor. It may also be why they were fed to soldiers.

The Israelites partook of Egyptian onions before Moses let them into Canaan. In the book of Numbers, in the story of the hardships of the odyssey, the Israelites speak fondly of the foods they had enjoyed and leeks, onions and garlic were among the six things that were mentioned.

Centuries later, Pliny the Elder, Rome's keen-eyed observer, wrote of Pompeii's onions before he was overcome and killed by the volcano's heat and fumes. Excavators of the doomed city would later find gardens where, just as Pliny had said, onions had grown. The bulbs had left behind telltale cavities in the ground.

From ancient times, onions have marched through history, a staple and universal foodstuff. They remained that way until the dawn of science, awaiting the magic of contemporary botanists, who would make the humble onion blossom into a bewildering array of shapes and forms.

Today onions are still so important that they are incorporated into everyday sayings, i.e. the French sometimes say, "Occupe toi de tes oignons" (Mind your business.)

500-Pound Man Accused of Fast-Food Grifting

Thanks to a loyal reader we have this story to share from you from the Local6 Florida News: "A 500-pound man in Seminole County, Fla., was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of scamming fast-food restaurants out of large amounts of milk shakes and tacos, according to a Local 6 News report. Jolicoeur would then call or visit the restaurants posing as a police officer or a firefighter and ask for a refund because there was a hair in his food, according to the report. "He would come back and say, 'Oh, there is something wrong with it,'" Seminole County Sheriff's spokesman Steve Olson said. "There was a hair in my shake or there was a hair in my tacos. And, then he wants his money back. "Jolicoeur was captured after he went to a Steak N' Shake restaurant near Oviedo and Taco Bell in Central Florida and allegedly tried to get money back for the food he ordered. Local 6 News reported that Jolicoeur has been arrested more than 24 times on charges of burglary, drugs and domestic problems, Local 6 News reported. "Jolicoeur's rap sheet is as thick as a book," Local 6 reporter Chris Trenkmann said. "When he was first checked into the jail in 1991, he weighed 360 pounds. This morning, the jail weighed him at 500 pounds."

Police in Sanford, Fla., and other cities are investigating the possibility that Jolicoeur was scamming area restaurants, Trenkmann said.

More info to come as we are following this unique story closely.

Bender Is Over - Back to Solid Quality Food

I have recovered from my bender of gorging on fast food and salted snack items. Thanks for your support (0 comments gd it!). ANyways, here is a picture of a lovely pot roast, garlic bread and brussell sprouts that are just about done and ready to eat.

2-Day Bender - Lord Please Help Me

I have been on a 2-day bender which has involved the consumption of way too much foodstuffs. Above is just the heap by the couch - I will not show photos of the kitchen area. I am soliciting help as I have a page of Arbys coupons and lunch is coming soon.

Fresh Oregon Coast Crab Pictures

Enjoy the look here at a reader's submission of his bounty from the Oregon Coast in the USA. Nice Work.

The FP Times Evening Meal - (additional snackage will follow)

I had some of the staff assemble a classic example of an FP evening meal. This is just the main course, it will be followed by some ice cream and a box of zingers as well. This is living.

5 Star Mexican Food: Sanchez Taqueria - Tigard, Oregon

The staff at the FP Times has enjoyed many fine mexican meals from in the country of Mexico itself and all the way up the US West Coast. We know authentic good mexican food. Sanchez Taqueria in Tigard,Oregon makes our exclusive 5-Star list. This smaller restaurant makes it food fresh daily and you can taste it. The salsas they offer up are also unique and excellent. If you are ever near this establishment it is a MUST VISIT restaurant. As you can see from the menu above - the prices are very reasonable and the portions are huge. Upon our next visit, we will take some photos of some dishes and post them here.

The Road To Recovery

The staff here is entering the final stages of the recovery process from the Thanksgiving Holiday and the bounty of foodstuffs consumed. Very soon things will become lively around here as usual.

Sprite "Aruba Mix" - Bad Timing or Bad Taste?

Sprite has recently released a beverage line titled "Aruba Mix". "Aruba Jam" is the third flavor in in the Sprite Remix series. Tropical and Berry were the two prior flavors released. With the whole Natalie Holloway issue still ongoing and the debate about Aruba's government authorities capabilities/willingness to deal with it, should Sprite not pull this product?

The Governor of Alabama has called for a boycott of the entire country (tourism and goods). From CNN: MONTGOMERY, Alabama (AP) -- Gov. Bob Riley called for a nationwide travel boycott of Aruba on Tuesday on behalf of a missing Alabama teenager's family, who accuse the island's government of not fully cooperating with the investigation into her disappearance. Riley asked his fellow governors to join him in urging the boycott of Aruba, where 18-year-old Natalee Holloway was last seen on May 30. "There are no other alternatives to get Aruban authorities to take this as seriously as they should," Riley said.

Debate is ongoing here at the FPT Test Kitchen.

We are encouraging you to post your opinion using the comments link on this post.

Barq's Root Beer Blog - The Blog With Bite!

The staff here at The Fat Pride Times have been long time drinkers of Diet Barq's and regular Barq's Root Beer. It is the best tasting diet beverage - no argument. Recently a reader pointed us to the Barq's Blog. This blog covers all thing Barq's and is very well done. Recommended link.

Barq's Blog

Yes We Have A Winner

Reader Senet correctly identified the plate of foodstuff in the previous posting. The winning comment was "That is some teriyaki chicken served over rice and broccoli, topped with hearty ginger slices. BOOYAH BOOYAH KABOO -Senet".

That is correct and Senet can now email us for his Arby's coupon.

5-Day 'Name That Meal' Contest - It's On

Can you name the foodstuff in the pictures above? Give it a shot by using the comments link below. Those who answer correctly - and answer must list the main multiple ingredients that compose the above dish will receive an Arby's coupon from our personal stash via regular mail.

Reader Submits Photo Of His Grocery Store: Frazier Foods

One of our readers, Mr. Bob Green, submitted to us the above photo of the market where he is the General Manager/CEO. Bob says he loves the info he gets here at The Fat Pride Times and plans to contribute some more things shortly.

Reader Calls For Pizza Hut To Offer BBQ Sauce For Individual Sale

A reader of the FP Times has called out for Pizza Hut to start selling it's tasty BBQ sauce for sale in individual bottles for home use. Pizza Hut uses this sauce on tehir BBQ chicken pizza and their hot wings as well. This sauce has a unique sweet and smokey flavor and we stand behind our reader in this call for action. Please help our efforts by emailing Pizza Hut and asking that it be made available for purchase as a stand-alone product.

Reader exclaims: "I Did Not Believe I Saw The Wienermobile Today"

Regular reader and contributor Magnum of PortalX Ventures experienced something incredible today. He saw the actual Wienermobile in person. Nuff Said.

Tootsie Pops: 100 down and more to go

We work late at the offices of The Fat Pride Times, so we had candy on hand for any trick or treaters. We gave full size candy bars and a handful of these Tootsie Pops. When all was done, we had about 3 huge bags of these suckers left. I have eaten over 100 since and I still am reaching for more as this is posted. Excellent candy. I dont care about 'how many licks it takes to get to the center' cause I just chomp em. FP Times recommends this candy product. I am trying to save the sticks and hope to have a picture of the massive pile up here shortly.

Everybody Loves Waffles - Right?

A reader sent us the excellent waffle themed images you see above. Everyone loves a good waffle. In fact, there are two days of the year set aside for them: International Waffle Day on March 25th and National (U.S.) Waffle Day on August 24th.

Here is some waffle history from mrbreakfast.com

13th Century A.C. - Ancient Greeks cook flat cakes between two metal plates. These early waffles were called obleios and were primarily savory in nature, prepared with cheeses and herbs.

1620 - The pilgrims bring Dutch "wafles" to America.

1735 - The word "waffle" - with two "f"s - appears in English print for the first time.

Late 1800's - Thomas Jefferson returns to the U.S. from France with a long handled, patterned waffle iron.

1869 - Cornelius Swarthout patents the first U.S. Waffle Iron.

1953 - Frank Dorsa's Eggo Frozen Waffles are sold in Supermarkets for the first time.

1964-65 - Brussels restaurateur Maurice Vermersch brings his wife's Brussels Waffle recipe to the World's Fair in New York. The fluffy yeast-infused waffle becomes a huge hit and becomes known as the Belgium waffle.

The Fat Pride Times Bagel Meal Plate

Here it is, the often spoken of FPT Bagelmeal. Takes 10 minutes to prepare and about 10 minutes to eat. Notice the seeds were not removed from the thick jalapeno slices.

Reader Debuts PortalX Webstore With Gourmet Food Offerings

Regular contributor to The Fat Pride Times, Magnum (on the East Coast), has recently ventured into the world of e-commerce. Beginning with his own IRC Network (irc.portalx.org), he has built the PortalX.org name into a solid web presence. While his new store offers many many things, we are mostly interested here at the exciting selection of foodstuffs available there. Everything from gourmet cheeses for you uptown readers to bunker rations for our doomsday scenario readers.

PortalX Store Main Entrance

Fine Looking Piece Of Meat

We received an anonymously submitted photo of what appears to be a slab of prime rib being cooked off. The staff here all agrees it looks delicious. Please post your opinions using the comments link below.

More Info on Ted's SteakHouse From Reader

The Fat Pride Times has gotten lucky and had a reader send in some more info on this unique restaurant. While we have never been there, it appears this restaurant is very popular, offers souviner items and now has 3 locations! Hopefully this reader will keep sending me more info. The team here is not finding much new via the search engines. Here is a sample of the menu we found on fhwrdh.net:

10 oz. porterhouse steak

6 oz., 7 oz. or 8 oz. steak grilled with mushrooms and onions, served with a baked potato wrapped in tinfoil

gorgonzola and garlic salad

ice cream that we keep in the freezer just like you do at home

chunky rodeo chicken kids meal

the ted - captain morgans (or myers) rum and coke with a cherry

the bell - vodka and orange juice

the ted jr. - a glass of 7up

the theodora - a cream soda

french fries

fishsticks

a basket of rolls with butter and a butter knife (for mom).

Reader Recommends: Ted's of Beverly Hills (Bar & Steakhouse)

One of our readers has written in to let us know about his favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, 'Ted's of Beverly Hills'. This restaurant is considered a 5 star white tablecloth establishment and our reader highly endorses it. Apparently, Ted's was the first restaurant to serve baked potatoes in the aluminum foil wrapper, something that is now the standard at all restaurants. This was many of the restaurant firsts that Ted's introduced to the hospitality industry. The website fhwrdh.net also notes that this establishment also was the first to serve: rum and coke mixed together (called the "ted" - meyer's rum and coke), the steak sandwich and the gorgonzola and garlic salad. Fhwrdh.net also notes that Ted's introduced the serrated knife to the steak world, was the first to put lemon juice on shrimp cocktail and was the first to use two salad forks in the place settings. We will have more info to come including a partial copy of the menu.

Thanksgiving: Canada Edition

Our regular Canadian contributor Jackball has once again served an excellent meal with documentation for us all. The above photos were prepared from the following recipe:

Prepare Stuffing

4 cups bread crumbs, 1/4 lb bacon, 1/3 cup chopped onion, 2 tbls chopped celery, 1/4 cup warm butter, 1/2 tsp parsley flakes, pepper, salt, 1/3 cup warm milk.In a big bowl mix the ingredients, bread crumbs should be mushy when done.

Stuff the Turkey, cook at 375 for 4 hours depending on size of bird.

The staff here at The Fat Pride Times found some history on the Canadian Thanksgiving on twilightbridge.com:

In Canada Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Unlike the American tradition of remembering Pilgrims and settling in the New World, Canadians give thanks for a successful harvest. The harvest season falls earlier in Canada compared to the United States due to the simple fact that Canada is further north.

The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an English explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. He did not succeed but he did establish a settlement in Northern America. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now called Newfoundland, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. This is considered the first Canadian Thanksgiving. Other settlers arrived and continued these ceremonies. He was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him - Frobisher Bay.

At the same time, French settlers, having crossed the ocean and arrived in Canada with explorer Samuel de Champlain, also held huge feasts of thanks. They even formed 'The Order of Good Cheer' and gladly shared their food with their Indian neighbours.

After the Seven Year's War ended in 1763, the citizens of Halifax held a special day of Thanksgiving.

The remains of the world's oldest noodles have been unearthed in China!

The BBC News website has breaking food news: "The 50cm-long, yellow strands were found in a pot that had probably been buried during a catastrophic flood.

Radiocarbon dating of the material taken from the Lajia archaeological site on the Yellow River indicates the food was about 4,000 years old.

Scientists tell the journal Nature that the noodles were made using grains from millet grass - unlike modern noodles, which are made with wheat flour.

The discovery goes a long way to settling the old argument over who first created the string-like food.

Visit the link below for full story.

The remains of the world's oldest noodles have been unearthed in China.

Proper Ginger Quantity For Maximum Teriyaki Chicken Over Rice Flavor

Above I have posted a picture of a standard teriyaki chicken meal from a local casual restaurant. I ordered this to go and helped myself to the ginger you see massed upon the top. This is the official Fat Pride Times recommended serving size of ginger per teriyaki chicken meal for maximum enjoyment.

Homemade Whole Chicken Fat Pride Times Style

All this chatter about whole birds led me to make my own over the weekend. Above is a picture of my whole bird before cooking. Unfortunately, I macked the whole thing then remembered I forgot to take a picture of it when it was done.

Reader Picture: Balinese Chicken (Indonesian)

One of our international readers has submitted the above photo of a dish called Balinese Chicken - an Indonesian recipe. The staff will be researching this dish and posting more info shortly.

Wasabi - Genuine or Fake? The Truth Is Out

After enjoying some of what we thought was authentic Wasabi paste and some California Roll Sushi in The FatPride Times breakroom a little research led to some interesting results. Genuine Wasabi is not easily found - what we had was horseradish and food coloring being sold as Wasabi. From the website freshwasabi.com: "Don't be fooled. The green smooth textured clump on the side of your sushi dish is rarely real wasabi. More commonly it is ordinary horseradish with food coloring added. Real wasabi is one of the rarest and most difficult vegetables in the world to grow. Few geographical areas are suited for growing wasabi. We are fortunate that our micro climate in Florence, Oregon is ideally suited for growing fresh wasabi".

Lesson to be learned is something about watching something or other - you know what we mean. Looking at the ingredients listing on our box of Wasabi found us with horseradish and food coloring.